During a few conversations with fellow Catholics, some of whom are in my own parish, I noticed that some of them say the stupidest things. Their quotes are banal, their insights full of liberal tripe and their knowledge of the faith dismal. Here are a few gems I found especially frustrating. Some are strait from the horse’s mouth while others are paraphrased:
- Did you know that St. Hildegard was the first feminist?
- I am so glad Vatican II allowed lay-people to finally participate at Mass.
- It would be so nice if the Church could sell all its nice things and give them to the poor!
- I don’t believe all those rules about fasting but do I give up sweets every Lent.
- I think they should get a woman pope in there; after all, women have better morals.
- Martin Luther was right in getting Catholics to read the Bible more.
- The musical experiments of the 70’s were such a great thing, they need to make Mass fresh and relevant.
- I hope the next pope allows gay marriage and birth control- we need to get with the times!
- What is liturgy?
- Is Hosanna the name of Jesus’s daughter?
- Ooh, let’s replace the Exultet at Easter with something by David Haas!
- I’m glad Benedict XVI stepped down; he was taking the Church backwards.
- Oh, I take communion at the Anglican church, it’s the same thing as ours.
- You don’t really have to go to confession, it’s really meant for therapeutic purposes.
- The reason we don’t have any more vocations is because the Church won’t let go of traditions.
- I’m so glad Vatican II got rid of Latin, no one can understand it!
- You don’t really need to believe in purgatory.
- Back before the 1960’s, the priest used to turn his back on us during Mass, it was so rude.
- I’m disappointed the Church never elected a black pope.
- Priests should be able to get married because everyone knows men need to have sex.
- I’m not raising my kid Catholic… he’s going to choose his own religion, but I’m having him baptized – because it’s my right.
- The Protestants would join our church if we could just be more like them!
- I won’t kiss the bishop’s ring, he’s only a man.
- Gay marriage isn’t a problem as long as it doesn’t affect me.
- Latin Mass is idiotic.
- Married couples shouldn’t have any more than two children- it’s irresponsible.
- Why doesn’t the Church treat women like people?
- The Catechism has too many rules; it should really be all about love.
*Sigh* I would love to be able to say, “Ha! Those Catholics! We Lutherans don’t say silly things like that!”, but.. yeah, Lutherans are just as bad.
I think we get the crazies in every church
Among other things, most don’t realize that when Martin Luther was born, there were nine German versions of the Bible printed already. For some reason, when I hear “Al Gore and the Internet” it makes me think of “Martin Luther and the Bible in the vernacular!”
Looks like we’ll be getting a black pope soon……behind white skin.