You Might be a Closet-Catholic if…

  1. You can’t sit still in church.
  2. You feel the urge to wash your hands before and after entering the sanctuary- it just gives you such a clean feeling.
  3. When hearing “Gloria in Excelsis Deo” during a Christmas service, you say to yourself: That’s neat…is it Latin?
  4. You have no qualms telling a complete stranger all the bad stuff you did last week.
  5. You’re tired of happy-clappy Gospel music!
  6. The whole candlelight effect at Christmas looks cool.
  7. You could use a little more guilt.
  8. You’re sick of Communion once every month and really wish they’d use wine… like in the Bible.
  9. You think it’s perfectly normal to eat fish on Fridays.
  10.  That pope-guy looks sort of charming in his funny hat.
  11.  No amount of rules and regulations can drive you crazy.
  12.  On hot, summer days, you wish there was something to get the church smelling nice.
  13.  Rome is…so romantic.
  14.  You consider last-rites as an R.S.V.P.
  15.  During Western History Class, when discussing the Reformation, you briefly think Martin Luther needed to take a chill-pill.
  16.  When deciding what church to attend in a new town, you look for a bell-tower.
  17.  There’s something about Mary.
  18.  Once or twice, you’ve thought about calling an exorcist.
  19.  You’ve always wanted to spend the night in a gothic cathedral.
  20.  You feel that something 2,000 years old can’t be wrong!

–         By Rachel Marie Gohlman

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