During a few conversations with fellow Catholics, some of whom are in my own parish, I noticed that some of them say the stupidest things. Their quotes are banal, their insights full of liberal tripe and their knowledge of the faith dismal. Here are a few gems I found especially frustrating. Some are strait from the horse’s mouth while others are paraphrased:
– Did you know that St. Hildegard was the first feminist?
– I am so glad Vatican II allowed lay-people to finally participate at Mass.
– It would be so nice if the Church could sell all its nice things and give them to the poor!
– I don’t believe all those rules about fasting but do I give up sweets every Lent.
– I think they should get a woman pope in there; after all, women have better morals.
– Martin Luther was right in getting Catholics to read the Bible more.
– The musical experiments of the 70’s were such a great thing, they need to make Mass fresh and relevant.
– I hope the next pope allows gay marriage and birth control- we need to get with the times!
– What is liturgy?
– Is Hosanna the name of Jesus’s daughter?
– Ooh, let’s replace the Exultet at Easter with something by David Haas!
– I’m glad Benedict XVI stepped down; he was taking the Church backwards.
– Oh, I take communion at the Anglican church, it’s the same thing as ours.
– You don’t really have to go to confession, it’s really meant for therapeutic purposes.
– The reason we don’t have any more vocations is because the Church won’t let go of traditions.
– I’m so glad Vatican II got rid of Latin, no one can understand it!
– You don’t really need to believe in purgatory.
– Back before the 1960’s, the priest used to turn his back on us during Mass, it was so rude.
– I’m disappointed the Church never elected a black pope.
– Priests should be able to get married because everyone knows men need to have sex.
– I’m not raising my kid Catholic… he’s going to choose his own religion, but I’m having him baptized – because it’s my right.
– The Protestants would join our church if we could just be more like them!
– I won’t kiss the bishop’s ring, he’s only a man.
– Gay marriage isn’t a problem as long as it doesn’t affect me.
– Latin Mass is idiotic.
– Married couples shouldn’t have any more than two children- it’s irresponsible.
– Why doesn’t the Church treat women like people?
– The Catechism has too many rules; it should really be all about love.